We are currently week, who even knows anymore because we have all lost count, and instead of leaning into focusing in on all the things I can't do anymore, I'm choosing to find joy in the little practices that have become acts of self-love. When we had the option to run the streets and take in all outside had to offer, some of the items on my list weren't as important to me as they now are. Everything around us is uncertain, and the world is filled with so much pain and hurt right now. There were weeks where I just went dark and really needed to hold on to some joy in the midst of chaos. I hope that if you haven't already, that some of these things that have brought me joy can bring you a little bit of happiness as well.
Reading
I have always been a huge reader. Now, I haven't read as much as I typically would in the past year, but I have always been a bookworm. It probably started when I was a child and my mom would pay me $2 for every book I would read to keep me from sitting in front of the TV all day. Those Barbie clothes weren't going to buy themselves so if I had to read 3 books a week so Barbie could get the newest tweed blazer then I had to do what I had to do. Although the clothes were my motivation to initially read, it did in turn create a love of reading. I usually only read fiction, because I like the ability to escape when necessary, but the current book I'm reading is a biography and I LOVE IT. My best friend and her family were reading
" More Than Enough" by Elaine Welteroth, and at first, I wasn't interested because biographies read as boring to me, but after their rave reviews, I decided to give it a try. Best decision ever because it is truly remarkable. So much of Elaine's story resonates with me and inspires me, it is really a page-turner. A couple nights a week I light some candles, pour a glass of wine, and open up my book. When outside was open I realize this was one of the things that I neglected. Reading wasn't as fundamental when barhopping was an option, but now that I have the opportunity to lean into this new form of escapism I have fallen back in love with it.
Skincare
Within the last year I have spent a lot more time and money on my skincare routine, but with life constantly moving around me I sometimes have a hard time trying to keep up with it. You know, those nights you went out with friends and ended up nosediving into the bed with a full face of makeup on. Yeah, prior to quarantine I had quite a few of those. Since having so much open time added to my days I've had the opportunity to really dedicate myself to my skincare routines. That has meant a full washing, serums, eye creams, toners, moisturizers, facial oils, sunscreen, and masks. Instead of looking at it as a task like I did previously I now view it as a time that I get to really focus on my self-care. Besides the relaxation, seeing the benefits of my dedication has been so rewarding. I have extremely dry skin and a lot of discoloration so watching it disappear has been such a blessing. I hear a lot of people say their skincare journey is hard because when they aren't seeing results their no longer inclined to continue. If that's the case your approaching it incorrectly. Shift your focus from results to creating a spa experience for yourself. Put more energy into enjoying how each step feels and view this entire routine as self-care. Don't rush it, take your time and I promise you will no longer be worried about the results as much as you are enjoying the experience. Soon you will be laying on the couch masking for hours without a care in the world sis.
You can find all the products I use and a detailed description of how they work in my most recent skincare post. I also usually share a ton about my skincare journey on my
Instagram ( which if you're not following already go ahead and hit that follow button).
Shower Spa Experience
Now this one my girlfriend put me on to. With everything that has transpired in the last few months, I found myself slipping into a really dark place. Feeling isolated from the people and things I love as well as watching countless black people be murdered, victimized, and disrespected constantly had left me completely emotionally drained. No matter where I went to escape I couldn't find the space or peace I needed to process my emotions, and it was really getting harder and harder to show up each day for myself or anyone else. My girlfriend told me that every night she would light candles, play whatever music made her feel good, and would take a long hot shower and allow herself to feel whatever it was she was feeling and take a break from people, places, and things. I'm not going lie, at first this just seemed pointless to me, but one day when I felt like I was going to literally bubble over, I decided to give it a try. YA'LL!! it was glorious, and it has become a nightly routine for me (well for the most part). Sometimes it's lots of upbeat Beyonce, Meghan, and City Girls to shower twerk to while other nights it's a slow emotional playlist I can cry my heart out to. Whatever your preference, use this time to create a vibe and disconnect from anyone. This is YOUR TIME to literally shut the world out and allow your mind and body to relax. Now note: this could add a few bucks to the heat and electric bill, but if your going to cut expenses somewhere don't let it be your self-care sis.
Netflix, Hulu, and all The Shows
This is literally self-explanatory. Sometimes just zoning out to a TV show is the simplest form of self-care available. Now of course you need to be able to disconnect when necessary to get important things done, but there's nothing wrong with giving yourself a set amount of time to watch a show and mentally escape for a bit. Greys Anatomy got me through an entire break up, so I will ALWAYS suggest a little TV therapy sometime. If you don't know what to watch I
have an entire list of all the TV shows worth binging during this break.
Creating Content/ Social Media Engagement
Although Social Media can be mentally stressful it can also be a bit of relief. One of the reasons I have continued influencing and blogging is that I enjoy the relationships and conversations I get to have with you all. You guys have kept me laughing when I really needed it most, and have been a place to vent when I needed an ear to listen, and for that, I will always appreciate social media. In a time when we are supposed to be keeping our distance, having these channels to stay connected can really be chicken soup for the soul ( if you don't know what that reference is I need to know how old you are lol).
Creating Content has also been a huge stress reliever. I have literally had nothing but time to create mood boards and make content that I am very proud of. Although some pieces of the process are work, and not always the most enjoyable, breathing life into the ideas that circle in my head is in itself therapeutic. If content creation is not your jam, this may be a great time to tap into that idea that you have been too scared to try. Pouring yourself into something your passionate about can be a great form of self care. It has been truly wonderful for me.
Working Out
Exercise and I have a love-hate relationship, but during this time it has been a great stress reliever. Allowing myself to put my energy into exercise, and to sweat it all out has been a huge form of self-care for me. The angrier I am the harder I go, the more anxious I am the harder I push, and often times I feel significantly better after. After years of denying it I have to say that endorphins do seem to be a real thing. Some may say endorphins are even better than wine ( just so we are clear " some" is not me, but endorphins are pretty great though lol).
I hope that at least one of the ideas on this list can help you to find a mental escape or some peace during this chaos. What are some ways you all practice self-care? Now that I have shared with you I would love to hear your ideas as well?
Disconnecting
Sometimes it is just this simple. With so many ways to receive news right now, it can be overwhelming to say the leas.t. We all have so many emotions and trying to navigate them while consistently being bombarded with graphic images and videos is honestly more than anyone can bear. When you find it necessary please don ot feel any guilt about taking all the time you need to yourself. This can look like not getting on social media, not answering phone calls or texts, and just spending time with yourself. It's not selfish sis. Self Care is never selfish. There is no way you can be of service to anyone else if you are not servicing yourself. PERIOD!
I hope that you find this list helpful and that something on this list will provide you relief during this difficult time. I would love to hear the ways you are self-caring right now? Leave it below in the comments.
